Real or Rumor?

Well how do you know? You hear so many rumors, and you hear so many truths.

How can you tell which story is real and which story is rumor. 



Words spread like wild fire weather its big news or no big deal at all.
Lately i have been hearing many things, all big news, and all very hurtful to me.
Then i had to ask myself questions...
Is this seriously true? Do i confront them about it? Are they still my friend?
What if it is just a rumor? Am i making to big of a deal about this?

I say always go to the person, they may tell you the truth and confess to it.
Or they may not have done anything the rumors says anyways.
The worst they can do is say the rumor isn't true when you can see that it clearly is.

Don't worry your pretty little head too much on rumors or even the real deal,
It all blows over in time and a new day always begins.
Stand strong, confront, and move on.

Sometimes I get Lost

Some days, like today, i just get lost.

I don't know what to do, things that usually excite me, slightly bore me today.

I pick up my camera, then look outside and see the cold, and set my camera down.

I sit at my piano, play a few notes, then get back up and walk away.

I open my laptop, bring up the book I'm writing, then exit out.

All the things that make my life everything that i am, just bore me today.

so i guess today is just a day to be bored.

Tomorrow lets hope i wake up ready to be me once again. 

Its a New Day

I started out knowing.

knowing what i would do

where i would go

who i was with.

But now its all different.

Its the beginning of a new day.



So many things have changed. So many people have changed.

I can't explain to you why i started a blog if i can't even keep up a daily or weekly post.

But this is my life. I am a teenager. My days get busy, i procrastinate and get behind.

I change my mind and i change my mind again. I don't keep every promise

and honestly i do tell lies. But I'm trying to find the times. The times that i have to myself.

Sometimes when i find that time rather than sitting on here and writing i read instead

or i just get so fed up with being so busy all i want to do is go to sleep, so then that's what i do.

but anyways as I'm saying, walking around being a teenage girl isn't so easy.

Just in the past few months that i have started this blog i have changed so much.

My friends have changed, my plans get changed.

I thought this would be my every night oasis, my secret little journal,

one that i share to the world. turns out i just don't have that time.

I miss the long summer days. Then i was free of hectic schedules.

Now were changing and creeping our way into the dead of winter. Now there long days of school.

And even school has changed. No not the halls, not the subjects. But the people in the school.

Even the way Student council is ran has changed.

Maybe I'm saying I'm not a big fan of change, but i guess most times its the best thing to do.

I know i have changed because when i look around, my friends aren't exactly the same as

they always have been. The classes i excel in and fail in have flip flopped.

And most of all i am different in some way. I'm louder, stronger, and most definitely a new me.

And i know exactly who the person is that changed me.

The guy.

When i was with him i think i was starting to find myself. He brought out every real part in me.

I wasn't afraid to hide who i was and who i was becoming. He made me better, he made me who i now am. Even though he isn't my guy anymore, he is still and always will be the guy.

as Katy Perry says.. he was the one that got away.

Its a funny thing to find someone that was your other half at an age so young as mine.

but even when i talk about it with my mom who has been married for over 20 years,

she tells me that he was and still is a very big part of me.

she told me that me and him were made for each other, but were just to young to figure that out.

But now even though he will always be my perfect puzzle piece, I'm my own person.

So i started out knowing this was my blog.

Now i don't know if it will last.

I started out knowing i would write every day.

Now i know that's not happening.

I started out knowing I would go further with this.

Now if i keep doing what I'm doing, that's not going to happen either.

I started out knowing i was writing just what popped in my head that day.

But now most of it has been about him and being a teen.

I started out knowing i was shy.

Now I'm blunt, loud, and crazy :)

I started out knowing i would go to college for writing.

Now i think i might go for music, but this i still a don't know.

I started out knowing i would always go places with him.

And i did but now that's done.

I started out knowing i would spend all my time with him.

Now i know its over. this time for real.

And now i know its all different.

Its all new.

and I'm starting a new day.

The Start of a Future.

This girl has big dreams,

and an even bigger future.

So me being a sophomore and all

i have begun to think of a future.

a real one.

though putting dreams aside and trying

to get my mind out of the clouds

and into reality

is much harder than you might ever imagine,

i have worked my way through it.

Over and over again

i am being asked what it is

i want to be, what i want to do, where i want to go.

big decisions.

i am a huge dreamer, so thinking about the future

for me it is always extremely elaborate

and surreal.

Knowing i need to clear my head

and get going with graduation,

college,

and a career

so close in front of me,

i have sat down and thought.

Trust me it hasn't been so easy.

struggling through the thousands of different

job opportunities is overwhelming.

though some things have came in

a very close race.

 

english writing?

journalism?

teaching?

music director?

publicist?

They all came close,

some i tried to mix,

a music journalist?

an english teacher?

well in the end,

the one that i kept going back to,

was a

music teacher.

music has always

and forever

been very close to my heart.

and me being a dreamer,

i wish to go further than a music teacher,

maybe be a music producer,

a music publicist,

something major.

For me that all sounds like the

unable, the impossible.

Yes i know it can be done,

enough time, effort, dedication, money.

and you can do anything your wildest dreams

could ever imagine.

But with me being in reality,

my biggest future plan as of now is a music teacher.

I'd love love love,

to teach music to kids,

let them enjoy and fall in love with

music as much as i have.

But who knows,

thoughts can always change.

Maybe next year i will want to be

something completely different,

something iv never thought of before.

we will just have to see.

But for now, I'm extremely happy

with my career choice.

Ill strive to be the best, work harder,

and aim higher at becoming something more.

have you thought about your career?

or do you love the career you chose?

your wannabeblogger

gone for so long

Im sorry to all my readers

for being gone so long.

Life has been busy.

So many things have happened in the

time that has passed.

Last things i wrote about

was the horrific break up.

since then i have had many ups,

and many downs.

Down: trying to get over my him and failing.

Up: Boys from everywhere showing new interest.

Down: hurting a friend telling him i dont like him like that.

Up: Winning band competitions.

Down: losing a friend.

Up: gaining a new best friend.

Down: getting sucked into a guy that really meant nothing to me.

Up: I got new little kittens <3

Down: i pushed the one that sucked me in away.

(far away. all the way to pissed off land)

and finally the best up there is..

My him is once again mine.

 yes my past few weeks have been

slightly bipolar.

This week is

SPIRIT WEEK!

and homecoming is Friday night.

After all this time.

And all the mess.

Homecoming night will be all about

me and the one i love so much.

Always will love so much.

Always have loved so much.

I know im only 16.

Call me crazy,

or call it young love.

But this time..

Im not letting him escape.

your wannabeblogger

Take a Sick Day



Sadly to say i have been getting sick.

Only the worst thing ever!

Stuffy nose, Itchy eyes, Coughing, and Sleep deprived.

I hate being sick, the awful feeling of just wanting to do nothing.

And to make things even more horrible.

 this weekend is my sweet sixteen birthday party!

I best not be sick on my sweet sixteenth.

I hope i get better :(

I have an awesome birthday planned,

and i hope all goes well.

So for this week its all juices, soups, and medicines.

Cozy blankets, rest, and hope.

Though no matter what,

I'm pretty sure that my sweet 16 will turn out to be

amazing.

<3

your wannabeblogger

miss me will you??

You moved on so quickly,
did you even have time to miss me at all?

I don't wan't you back,
i just want to be missed.