Its a New Day

I started out knowing.

knowing what i would do

where i would go

who i was with.

But now its all different.

Its the beginning of a new day.



So many things have changed. So many people have changed.

I can't explain to you why i started a blog if i can't even keep up a daily or weekly post.

But this is my life. I am a teenager. My days get busy, i procrastinate and get behind.

I change my mind and i change my mind again. I don't keep every promise

and honestly i do tell lies. But I'm trying to find the times. The times that i have to myself.

Sometimes when i find that time rather than sitting on here and writing i read instead

or i just get so fed up with being so busy all i want to do is go to sleep, so then that's what i do.

but anyways as I'm saying, walking around being a teenage girl isn't so easy.

Just in the past few months that i have started this blog i have changed so much.

My friends have changed, my plans get changed.

I thought this would be my every night oasis, my secret little journal,

one that i share to the world. turns out i just don't have that time.

I miss the long summer days. Then i was free of hectic schedules.

Now were changing and creeping our way into the dead of winter. Now there long days of school.

And even school has changed. No not the halls, not the subjects. But the people in the school.

Even the way Student council is ran has changed.

Maybe I'm saying I'm not a big fan of change, but i guess most times its the best thing to do.

I know i have changed because when i look around, my friends aren't exactly the same as

they always have been. The classes i excel in and fail in have flip flopped.

And most of all i am different in some way. I'm louder, stronger, and most definitely a new me.

And i know exactly who the person is that changed me.

The guy.

When i was with him i think i was starting to find myself. He brought out every real part in me.

I wasn't afraid to hide who i was and who i was becoming. He made me better, he made me who i now am. Even though he isn't my guy anymore, he is still and always will be the guy.

as Katy Perry says.. he was the one that got away.

Its a funny thing to find someone that was your other half at an age so young as mine.

but even when i talk about it with my mom who has been married for over 20 years,

she tells me that he was and still is a very big part of me.

she told me that me and him were made for each other, but were just to young to figure that out.

But now even though he will always be my perfect puzzle piece, I'm my own person.

So i started out knowing this was my blog.

Now i don't know if it will last.

I started out knowing i would write every day.

Now i know that's not happening.

I started out knowing I would go further with this.

Now if i keep doing what I'm doing, that's not going to happen either.

I started out knowing i was writing just what popped in my head that day.

But now most of it has been about him and being a teen.

I started out knowing i was shy.

Now I'm blunt, loud, and crazy :)

I started out knowing i would go to college for writing.

Now i think i might go for music, but this i still a don't know.

I started out knowing i would always go places with him.

And i did but now that's done.

I started out knowing i would spend all my time with him.

Now i know its over. this time for real.

And now i know its all different.

Its all new.

and I'm starting a new day.