The Start of a Future.

This girl has big dreams,

and an even bigger future.

So me being a sophomore and all

i have begun to think of a future.

a real one.

though putting dreams aside and trying

to get my mind out of the clouds

and into reality

is much harder than you might ever imagine,

i have worked my way through it.

Over and over again

i am being asked what it is

i want to be, what i want to do, where i want to go.

big decisions.

i am a huge dreamer, so thinking about the future

for me it is always extremely elaborate

and surreal.

Knowing i need to clear my head

and get going with graduation,

college,

and a career

so close in front of me,

i have sat down and thought.

Trust me it hasn't been so easy.

struggling through the thousands of different

job opportunities is overwhelming.

though some things have came in

a very close race.

 

english writing?

journalism?

teaching?

music director?

publicist?

They all came close,

some i tried to mix,

a music journalist?

an english teacher?

well in the end,

the one that i kept going back to,

was a

music teacher.

music has always

and forever

been very close to my heart.

and me being a dreamer,

i wish to go further than a music teacher,

maybe be a music producer,

a music publicist,

something major.

For me that all sounds like the

unable, the impossible.

Yes i know it can be done,

enough time, effort, dedication, money.

and you can do anything your wildest dreams

could ever imagine.

But with me being in reality,

my biggest future plan as of now is a music teacher.

I'd love love love,

to teach music to kids,

let them enjoy and fall in love with

music as much as i have.

But who knows,

thoughts can always change.

Maybe next year i will want to be

something completely different,

something iv never thought of before.

we will just have to see.

But for now, I'm extremely happy

with my career choice.

Ill strive to be the best, work harder,

and aim higher at becoming something more.

have you thought about your career?

or do you love the career you chose?

your wannabeblogger

gone for so long

Im sorry to all my readers

for being gone so long.

Life has been busy.

So many things have happened in the

time that has passed.

Last things i wrote about

was the horrific break up.

since then i have had many ups,

and many downs.

Down: trying to get over my him and failing.

Up: Boys from everywhere showing new interest.

Down: hurting a friend telling him i dont like him like that.

Up: Winning band competitions.

Down: losing a friend.

Up: gaining a new best friend.

Down: getting sucked into a guy that really meant nothing to me.

Up: I got new little kittens <3

Down: i pushed the one that sucked me in away.

(far away. all the way to pissed off land)

and finally the best up there is..

My him is once again mine.

 yes my past few weeks have been

slightly bipolar.

This week is

SPIRIT WEEK!

and homecoming is Friday night.

After all this time.

And all the mess.

Homecoming night will be all about

me and the one i love so much.

Always will love so much.

Always have loved so much.

I know im only 16.

Call me crazy,

or call it young love.

But this time..

Im not letting him escape.

your wannabeblogger

Take a Sick Day



Sadly to say i have been getting sick.

Only the worst thing ever!

Stuffy nose, Itchy eyes, Coughing, and Sleep deprived.

I hate being sick, the awful feeling of just wanting to do nothing.

And to make things even more horrible.

 this weekend is my sweet sixteen birthday party!

I best not be sick on my sweet sixteenth.

I hope i get better :(

I have an awesome birthday planned,

and i hope all goes well.

So for this week its all juices, soups, and medicines.

Cozy blankets, rest, and hope.

Though no matter what,

I'm pretty sure that my sweet 16 will turn out to be

amazing.

<3

your wannabeblogger

miss me will you??

You moved on so quickly,
did you even have time to miss me at all?

I don't wan't you back,
i just want to be missed.

Erasing Time

well i am no longer dating the guy

that used to be wonderful.

we spent months of out lives together,

day in and day out.

but lets not get ahead of ourselves now,

it was but only another one of those

high school relationships,

one of those good ones that you think back on

when your older and wonder

what if?

but for now i just keep playing

riding solo by Jason Derulo

over and over again on my iPod

so that way i can remind myself that it's not always

such a bad thing to be single.

more time for your girls

 

and lots more flirting!

being a teen you must know your going to be

heart broken time and time again

as you move from one boy to the next.

but just knowing that doesn't always make it any easier.

soon enough ill find another guy,

hey may be better

or he may be worse.

(I'm only 16 so most likely not my future husband

but since you absolutely never know)

he may be the one, or he may be this weeks fling.

who really knows?

but anyways for now

I'm just going to erase time.

not completely though,

i may want to go back and remember.

but for now it hurts to much to think about our days,

so let's erase.

your wannabeblogger

Then Throw Away The Key.

can you honestly tell me you keep

every secret your told?

i bet not.

weather your a girl or a boy you have gossiped before.

its just a part of teenage life.

its a part of every one's life.

every person talks and a secret is never safe.

yes its true

sometimes there is a friend out there who would

never say a word.

they will lock their lips shut

then throw away the key

for you

I'm grateful for friends like that and glad

to say that i have one.

secrets are meant to be kept.

gossiping shouldn't be a major part of our lives

but it is.

and lets face it

gossiping is very fun, i do it too, 

everyone does.

and i know your going to tell someones secret,

who doesn't,

but  if you have just that one friend,

that you would do anything for,

then keep her secrets.

your wannabeblogger

My Used To Be Him

Well before i talk to you about

him

i will tell you about my weekend and why I'm

just a little behind on my posting.

I had a pool party this past Sunday!

It was supposed to be on Saturday but it got a little rained out.

so instead i went shopping for new Nike shoes,

sadly didn't find any i liked :(

Anyways, Sunday

i must say it turned out pretty awesome.

there was around 16 of us hanging out around the pool.

got a few suntans and a few laughs in this weekend

before we all had to get back up again this morning

and head off to school,

yay Mondays.



And now lets speak about

my him.

Well he used to be my him, until lately.

yes he is still technically mine.

we are still labeled as a couple,

i guess you could say that anyways

but truth is i haven't talked to him,

i mean really talked to him in so long.

i couldn't even tell you how long it has been.

I miss how we used to be, back when everything

was fresh and new.

When we talked and when he was all i could think about.

but now everything is just different.

i don't feel like a girlfriend

i feel like just a girl.

today he muttered not one little word to me.

not even a simple hi.

I'm not sure that he looked in my direction today either.

I know its my fault that its getting this way

just as much as its his fault too.

he hasn't talked to me, and i haven't talked to him

he hasn't made an effort towards me

and i haven't made many towards him either.

but i have tried more than he has.

I know that i deserve better

any girl would.

we all wish for that fairytale boy that has yet to make and appearance in my life.

but then i remember everything that i do love about him.

things he did way back when,

things that have all stopped and changed now.

i remember when he used to be my almost fairytale.

no longer is he what i would wish for.

though, he will always have some place in my heart.

he has never done a thing to hurt me.

not ever. he cared for me just as much as i cared for him.

but now, i think its all gone.

everything is gone.

I think its just that time we,

I

move on.

I don't think this is going anywhere further.
soon my facebook relationship status will change

just as his does too.

Just another one of those high school girls broken heart.

so i need to get my head out of the clouds

and stop thinking things will get any better

and i need to face the facts.

Its ending.

we are done.

we need to make it official and try to move on.

your wannabeblogger